Thursday, December 28, 2006

Want it? Can't have it!

It's the strangest thing. While I am really enjoying my holiday and time spent with friends and family, I feel as though everywhere I am, I want to be somewhere else. Everyone that I see, makes me want to see someone else.

I have been truly lucky to spend my holiday in great places with great people but I still find myself longing for other experiences. That being said, I am not doing anything in particular to make the "other experiences" a reality. I can only believe that that is due in part to the fact that I am enjoying myself and what I'm doing.

It may be part of a larger personality trait that I carry with me, the fear of committing to any one thing. I feel like I worry about missing out on some other experience or connection and that keeps me from making the most of those things that I choose to do and getting the most out of the time I spend with those who are important to me.

Maybe I need to be able to compartmentalize better, to see the present experience as the whole experience. "Live in the now." I do like the essence of that quote. It may be a life-long goal to bring myself more in line with it's advice. Still, I recognize that I wouldn't be me if I were to completely shift away from my tendency to (over)analyze. I guess this is where balance comes in. Time then, for me to go test the balance beam.


les said...

Who are you with now? Be with them, let them get to know you. Get to know them now.... Yoda

beck said...

hmm.. sounds familiar. ;) take your advice.