A childhood friend died this weekend.
We had not maintained close contact but had crossed-paths in the past couple of months. It is almost impossible for me to imagine though, the grief that his family and close friends are confronting. My thoughts are with them.
It is in times of tragedy that I am all too often reminded of the importance of living life to it's fullest. I feel an inherent guilt in tying someone's intense loss to my approach to day-to-day life. That being said, it was wisely pointed-out to me that many of us want to have a positive impact on the lives of those around us. I know that is very clearly the case for me. While I have failed miserably at it at points in the past (and even quite recently), I know that I still want it to be true. So, if I knew that even in my dying I could help others revisit their approach to living, I would be happy knowing that. I'd like to think that my friend would think that too.
It has certainly reminded me of the importance to express to those around me the important role that they play in my life. I don't think that is ever a bad idea. Still, I have taken much for granted and want to try to continue to live consciously. Conscious of myself and of those around me. Except consciousness is not enough. Maybe "active consciousness" is more important. Being conscious of things sometimes just make me over-analyze. Even having thought things through, I have failed in their application. To those who have been on the receiving end, I apologize. To the rest of you, I hope that my muddled thinking provides you with a moment of clarity on your own approach to living.