Well folks, another day returning from work meant another police business card for me. A new one... A Detective Constable! It turns out that profiling works (opening a can of landmines). One of the officers saw someone who "didn't look like he went with the bike" (we're not talking racial profiling here). Turns out they were right. I go with the bike. Kudos to them on their quick work.
I just walked down to the station to pick up Wheely. He's here with me now. Roll, roll, click, click. Granted, he's not quite the same as when he rolled out the door. It turns out my the seat and tires weren't to the thief's liking so they were changed. I'm short my front brakes but my tires probably needed replacing anyway. Wheely is both pumpless and bell-less. The important thing is Wheely is whole. Frankenwhole, but whole nonetheless. It has been a touching reunion. The after-school special will begin filming soon with Joey Lawrence playing me and the inimitable Steve Buscemi playing Wheely.
"Whoa! Where's my bike?!"
"Roll, roll, click, click."